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kareinaLast night a concerned individual came to me to let me know that others have been spreading gossip about me. As with all gossip, it turned out to be a blend of outright untruths and 1/4 truths so distorted as to make it difficult to determine upon what kernel of fact they'd once been based. Because my informant was unwilling to reveal the source of the gossip, I am now in the unenviable position of wondering about everyone in the Barony "was it you who would say such hurtful things?" Are stories being spread by people I thought were my friends? Or is it only those persons I don't know very well who are being cruel?
I don't wish to think of anyone in negative terms, and would very much prefer that one and all live up to the ideals of chivalry, courtesy, and honour upon which our organization is based. Please remember that not only is it discourteous to speak ill of someone, it is also a specific requirements of the SCA governing documents that if you have a problem with an individual that you speak *to that individual* about these problems.
It is a very good thing to share good news you hear about your friends. It is a very bad thing to spread hurtful gossip about anyone, be they friend, acquaintance or even foe. Many people, when they feel annoyance about something enjoy "venting" their feelings by talking about them to others. While rarely this is a productive thing in that by talking about what has annoyed them they are able to work past the annoyance and come to a solution, more often such practices instead turn into a building of negative energy, as the first person's words cause their audience to begin to think about things which annoy them, which they share with the first speaker and soon the conversation escalates and each feeds the other's negative energy with more negative energy, and the world becomes that bit more negative than it was.
Therefore I challenge one an all: if you have a problem with someone--be it a minor annoyance, or a major issue--go and talk to the person with whom you have a problem *before* or, better yet, *instead of* speaking to another about it. If you do feel the need to mention something negative about anyone, always find two positive things to say about them--mention one of the positive things before and another after the negative topic. Don't let your conversations increase the negative energy of the world, let them increase the positive.
I don't wish to think of anyone in negative terms, and would very much prefer that one and all live up to the ideals of chivalry, courtesy, and honour upon which our organization is based. Please remember that not only is it discourteous to speak ill of someone, it is also a specific requirements of the SCA governing documents that if you have a problem with an individual that you speak *to that individual* about these problems.
It is a very good thing to share good news you hear about your friends. It is a very bad thing to spread hurtful gossip about anyone, be they friend, acquaintance or even foe. Many people, when they feel annoyance about something enjoy "venting" their feelings by talking about them to others. While rarely this is a productive thing in that by talking about what has annoyed them they are able to work past the annoyance and come to a solution, more often such practices instead turn into a building of negative energy, as the first person's words cause their audience to begin to think about things which annoy them, which they share with the first speaker and soon the conversation escalates and each feeds the other's negative energy with more negative energy, and the world becomes that bit more negative than it was.
Therefore I challenge one an all: if you have a problem with someone--be it a minor annoyance, or a major issue--go and talk to the person with whom you have a problem *before* or, better yet, *instead of* speaking to another about it. If you do feel the need to mention something negative about anyone, always find two positive things to say about them--mention one of the positive things before and another after the negative topic. Don't let your conversations increase the negative energy of the world, let them increase the positive.
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Date: 2008-06-06 01:03 am (UTC)