old stories
Sep. 14th, 2020 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kareinaI am getting to know a new friend via text based chatting, and was asked to tell stories on the topic of polyarmoury and interesting people I have met. Having typed it up, why not consolidate the paragraphs together into a journal entry? Note to those of you who remember some of this stuff, and especially if you remember it differently: this is how I remember seeing it at the time.
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In a way I have always been polyamorous--when I was little I had lots and lots of stuffed animals, and I always "knew" "whose turn it was to sleep in the bed with me. :-)
When I was in High School I found the SCA and started doing all of the fun medieval stuff. One of the people in the group was a Knight named Kylson, who lived with his girlfriend Anne. Anne was so in love with Kylson she seemed to think he was a god. Indeed, he acted rather like Zeus. Anne worked the night shift at the local bank, and sometimes when she was at work Kylson would enjoy a bit of dalliance with other ladies. Every so often someone would pull Anne aside and ask her "Do you know what he is doing with other women?" Since Kylson believed that it was easier to get forgiveness than permission, he hadn't actually mentioned any of that to Anne. So when someone told on him Anne would get angry and go have a little "talk" with Kylson. After her explosion he would be sweet and loving, and she would calm down, and resume thinking he was god, and he would resume acting like Zeus, seeing others when she was busy. Watching this convinced me that I NEVER wanted to be in a relationship with someone wherein someone came to me and said "do you know what he is doing with other women" without being able to reply "Of course! Why? Do you want details?"
Soon thereafter I fell for his squire, Donnan, who had recently had his heart broken when his girlfriend got together with someone else while he was on vacation with his family. Donnan then sought comfort by trying to see how many different woman he could talk into bed in as short of time as possible. I knew this because Donnan and Kylson would talk about this when lots of us were over at Kylson and Anne's house in the evenings.
I knew that had anyone even hinted at jealousy to Donnan, he would have run screaming the other way.
At that point I was 17 years old, and Donnan 22.
I had, on more than one occasion, heard Donnan say that he isn't interested in sex with virgins "because they fall in love"
rewind to the year before...
My second boyfriend, in high school was a redhead named Chris. Like many teenage boys, he was interested in sex, but I thought that kids under 18 had no business having sex. Besides, I knew pretty much nothing about sex, except for the part where it causes pregnancy, or, if you are really unlucky, death from disease. But I really enjoyed the long hours of hugs and kisses, which were causing him some level of frustration. Eventually he asked outright if we could have sex, and I opted to permit it, even though I didn't really understand why one would want to. That relationship didn't last much longer.
However, jumping back to where I left off above...
On the evening Donnan first kissed me he asked "are you a virgin?", and I, very embarrassed that I wasn't, I replied truthfully that I wasn't, and thus he was willing to have sex with me, so we did. However, when asked after if I enjoyed it, and I said meekly "yes" and he asked "what did you enjoy about it?" I replied "the closeness". I am not certain why, but somehow he decided to take the time to help me learn that sex can be fun, and we wound up getting together. He was, of course, also seeing other women at the time. His roommates, who were all single men who weren't getting any dates at all (this being long before internet and dating apps) complained because I would sleep over with Donnan one night, our friend Jean stayed with him the next, then me the next night, then Jean the night after, and then Natalie stayed over the following night, and the poor roommates had no one.
At this point in the story I was asked "And beside all, was he like a cool guy, or just good at dating?"
Then my mother, who was working for DeVry Institute of Technology, a chain of universities spread across the US and Canada, asked Donnan if she could practice her sales pitch on him, and did such a good job, she wound up signing him up to attend DeVry, and, since I was eligible for free tuition as her dependant I decided to go with him, and we moved together to Phoenix, Arizonia (from Alaska--it was quite the change). Donnan has a heart of gold and is very kind. He is a good fighter, and became a knight while we were together. Before we moved to Arizona he fought for my honour in the Tournament to select the new Prince and Princess of Oertha (the name of the SCA group in Alaska), and won, so we served six months as Prince and Princess.
The SCA has a great tradition for our fighting that is unlike other forms of martial arts--the rule is "let the slain say that he be slain", in other words, only the person who has revived a "good" blow is allowed to decide if it was hard enough to "count". We also require that fighters entering a tournament have a lord or a lady for whose honour they are fighting--they aren't out there to advance themselves, but to make their "inspiration" Prince or Princess (if it is a Principality tournament) or King or Queen (if it is a Kingdom tournament), or just bring them honour (if it is a plain tournament).
I had always wanted a cat, but mom always said "no, cats belong in the barn, and we don't have one". But just before I moved to Arizona with Donnan Jean's cat had kittens, so Donnan got one for me, because he knew I wanted one. He was a dog person, and not really interested in a cat himself. After we had lived together 1.5 years (that university was a three year degree program) my mother called me to say that she was getting married. My reply was "yah, right, you haven't dated in years!" and then she told me about how my sister and her friend in Australia (whom she had met in Finland) had fixed up their parents see the 10-minute movie about that story here
So, since mom was getting married and moving to Australia that meant my free tuition was ending (since she was giving up her job), and it was decided that I would return to Alaska, but Donnan would stay in Arizona and finish his degree. Remember the part about being a dog person? He fell in love with Tabitha, the cat he had gotten for me, so I let him have custody when I went back north. For years thereafter, whenever we spoke on the phone he would tell me "your cat is as ornery as ever". Eventually Tabitha died of old age, and we were both sad, even though I hadn't seen her in years.
*************
When my parents got married dad was stationed with the military in Texas, and soon after they discovered that I was on the way the military sent him to Thailand for one year, without his family. At the same time another of his friends was also sent on a TDY (temporary duty year), leaving behind his wife and three red-haired children (you see what reminded me of this?). Therefore my mother, Norma, and the other woman, Liz, decided to become room mates while their husbands were gone.
So when I was a newborn baby I lived with three other small kids. Julie, Beth, and Ray. Ray was just enough older than I that there are photos of him at that stage of being a baby where he could actually sit up, all by himself, while I was just a tiny little newborn, and so much smaller than he.
Some months later dad got his new orders--our family was moving to Japan.
They decided that it would be nice to bring the car, so first mom and I drove to Pennsylvania so that my dad's mother could see her new granddaughter. Then we drove to Michigan, so that her parents could meet me. Then she and I drove across the US to California (I was in a cardboard box on the floor, since baby seats for cars hadn't been invented yet, or, if they had, were too expensive), where she put the car on a boat, and she and I took a plane to Japan, where I first met my dad--I was 10 months old.
We kept in touch with the Malloys (their family name), and visited them in the Philippines when I was like two or three years old. Then, we got transferred to Germany, and the Malloys did, too, and lived within walking distance, so we kids played together a lot, and somehow it was decided that Ray was my "boyfriend". He and I would sit together on the school bus, and I can still remember the other kids teasing us by singing "Two little love birds, sitting in the tree, K - I - S - S - I - N - G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage" Even that young I didn't mind the love part, but I wanted nothing to do with having babies.
We were only in Germany for a couple of years, and then we got transferred to Crete, and Ray's family went somewhere else, and I didn't see them again till we were all in Texas, years later, and he was never my "boyfriend" again. However, when I was about 9 years old I heard some adults talking about it being "sinful" to live with someone before they got married, and how no one should ever do that. And I totally could not resist telling them that "I lived with my first boyfriend!" (I didn't mention the part where we lived together years before he was my boyfriend, but I delighted in their very, very shocked expression when I said that--and I continued to have fun telling adults that now and then until I was old enough that it wasn't so shocking a thing to say).
*****************
************
In a way I have always been polyamorous--when I was little I had lots and lots of stuffed animals, and I always "knew" "whose turn it was to sleep in the bed with me. :-)
When I was in High School I found the SCA and started doing all of the fun medieval stuff. One of the people in the group was a Knight named Kylson, who lived with his girlfriend Anne. Anne was so in love with Kylson she seemed to think he was a god. Indeed, he acted rather like Zeus. Anne worked the night shift at the local bank, and sometimes when she was at work Kylson would enjoy a bit of dalliance with other ladies. Every so often someone would pull Anne aside and ask her "Do you know what he is doing with other women?" Since Kylson believed that it was easier to get forgiveness than permission, he hadn't actually mentioned any of that to Anne. So when someone told on him Anne would get angry and go have a little "talk" with Kylson. After her explosion he would be sweet and loving, and she would calm down, and resume thinking he was god, and he would resume acting like Zeus, seeing others when she was busy. Watching this convinced me that I NEVER wanted to be in a relationship with someone wherein someone came to me and said "do you know what he is doing with other women" without being able to reply "Of course! Why? Do you want details?"
Soon thereafter I fell for his squire, Donnan, who had recently had his heart broken when his girlfriend got together with someone else while he was on vacation with his family. Donnan then sought comfort by trying to see how many different woman he could talk into bed in as short of time as possible. I knew this because Donnan and Kylson would talk about this when lots of us were over at Kylson and Anne's house in the evenings.
I knew that had anyone even hinted at jealousy to Donnan, he would have run screaming the other way.
At that point I was 17 years old, and Donnan 22.
I had, on more than one occasion, heard Donnan say that he isn't interested in sex with virgins "because they fall in love"
rewind to the year before...
My second boyfriend, in high school was a redhead named Chris. Like many teenage boys, he was interested in sex, but I thought that kids under 18 had no business having sex. Besides, I knew pretty much nothing about sex, except for the part where it causes pregnancy, or, if you are really unlucky, death from disease. But I really enjoyed the long hours of hugs and kisses, which were causing him some level of frustration. Eventually he asked outright if we could have sex, and I opted to permit it, even though I didn't really understand why one would want to. That relationship didn't last much longer.
However, jumping back to where I left off above...
On the evening Donnan first kissed me he asked "are you a virgin?", and I, very embarrassed that I wasn't, I replied truthfully that I wasn't, and thus he was willing to have sex with me, so we did. However, when asked after if I enjoyed it, and I said meekly "yes" and he asked "what did you enjoy about it?" I replied "the closeness". I am not certain why, but somehow he decided to take the time to help me learn that sex can be fun, and we wound up getting together. He was, of course, also seeing other women at the time. His roommates, who were all single men who weren't getting any dates at all (this being long before internet and dating apps) complained because I would sleep over with Donnan one night, our friend Jean stayed with him the next, then me the next night, then Jean the night after, and then Natalie stayed over the following night, and the poor roommates had no one.
At this point in the story I was asked "And beside all, was he like a cool guy, or just good at dating?"
Then my mother, who was working for DeVry Institute of Technology, a chain of universities spread across the US and Canada, asked Donnan if she could practice her sales pitch on him, and did such a good job, she wound up signing him up to attend DeVry, and, since I was eligible for free tuition as her dependant I decided to go with him, and we moved together to Phoenix, Arizonia (from Alaska--it was quite the change). Donnan has a heart of gold and is very kind. He is a good fighter, and became a knight while we were together. Before we moved to Arizona he fought for my honour in the Tournament to select the new Prince and Princess of Oertha (the name of the SCA group in Alaska), and won, so we served six months as Prince and Princess.
The SCA has a great tradition for our fighting that is unlike other forms of martial arts--the rule is "let the slain say that he be slain", in other words, only the person who has revived a "good" blow is allowed to decide if it was hard enough to "count". We also require that fighters entering a tournament have a lord or a lady for whose honour they are fighting--they aren't out there to advance themselves, but to make their "inspiration" Prince or Princess (if it is a Principality tournament) or King or Queen (if it is a Kingdom tournament), or just bring them honour (if it is a plain tournament).
I had always wanted a cat, but mom always said "no, cats belong in the barn, and we don't have one". But just before I moved to Arizona with Donnan Jean's cat had kittens, so Donnan got one for me, because he knew I wanted one. He was a dog person, and not really interested in a cat himself. After we had lived together 1.5 years (that university was a three year degree program) my mother called me to say that she was getting married. My reply was "yah, right, you haven't dated in years!" and then she told me about how my sister and her friend in Australia (whom she had met in Finland) had fixed up their parents see the 10-minute movie about that story here
So, since mom was getting married and moving to Australia that meant my free tuition was ending (since she was giving up her job), and it was decided that I would return to Alaska, but Donnan would stay in Arizona and finish his degree. Remember the part about being a dog person? He fell in love with Tabitha, the cat he had gotten for me, so I let him have custody when I went back north. For years thereafter, whenever we spoke on the phone he would tell me "your cat is as ornery as ever". Eventually Tabitha died of old age, and we were both sad, even though I hadn't seen her in years.
*************
When my parents got married dad was stationed with the military in Texas, and soon after they discovered that I was on the way the military sent him to Thailand for one year, without his family. At the same time another of his friends was also sent on a TDY (temporary duty year), leaving behind his wife and three red-haired children (you see what reminded me of this?). Therefore my mother, Norma, and the other woman, Liz, decided to become room mates while their husbands were gone.
So when I was a newborn baby I lived with three other small kids. Julie, Beth, and Ray. Ray was just enough older than I that there are photos of him at that stage of being a baby where he could actually sit up, all by himself, while I was just a tiny little newborn, and so much smaller than he.
Some months later dad got his new orders--our family was moving to Japan.
They decided that it would be nice to bring the car, so first mom and I drove to Pennsylvania so that my dad's mother could see her new granddaughter. Then we drove to Michigan, so that her parents could meet me. Then she and I drove across the US to California (I was in a cardboard box on the floor, since baby seats for cars hadn't been invented yet, or, if they had, were too expensive), where she put the car on a boat, and she and I took a plane to Japan, where I first met my dad--I was 10 months old.
We kept in touch with the Malloys (their family name), and visited them in the Philippines when I was like two or three years old. Then, we got transferred to Germany, and the Malloys did, too, and lived within walking distance, so we kids played together a lot, and somehow it was decided that Ray was my "boyfriend". He and I would sit together on the school bus, and I can still remember the other kids teasing us by singing "Two little love birds, sitting in the tree, K - I - S - S - I - N - G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage" Even that young I didn't mind the love part, but I wanted nothing to do with having babies.
We were only in Germany for a couple of years, and then we got transferred to Crete, and Ray's family went somewhere else, and I didn't see them again till we were all in Texas, years later, and he was never my "boyfriend" again. However, when I was about 9 years old I heard some adults talking about it being "sinful" to live with someone before they got married, and how no one should ever do that. And I totally could not resist telling them that "I lived with my first boyfriend!" (I didn't mention the part where we lived together years before he was my boyfriend, but I delighted in their very, very shocked expression when I said that--and I continued to have fun telling adults that now and then until I was old enough that it wasn't so shocking a thing to say).
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