The week was even busier than expected
Sep. 14th, 2018 10:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kareinakareina
The week was even busier than expected
...but not near as productive.
Sunday I went to bed around midnight, but since I hadn't heard from Thorvald all day, I turned internet on on the phone in hopes of seeing him on line. My phone download an email that had come in during yoga. It said only:
"You have your priorities, and I have my priorities. They are not meshing well for either of us right now.
I think you will be relieved to hear that I will not be visiting you this fall."
This was completely out of the blue. In every recent skype call he looked delighted to see me and was cheerful and affectionate,. In every fb message exchanged recently everything seemed happy and good between us, and I thought that we were both looking forward to his visit.
So I frist replied via email to say that I was not relieved, but I was both surprised at the news. But then I was way too adjitated to be able to sleep, so I also sent a fb chat. He agreed to talk there, but he wasn't willing to do a voice call, so we exchanged messages until almost 03:00 in the morning. Apparently he had been feeling like he doesn't mater to me because I have been getting busier with work, research, and normal hobbies resuming now that summer is over. The fact that I am also spending lots of time with Villiam also, for reasons which my polyamorus mindset will never truly understand made Thorvald feel like he (Thorvald) doesn't matter to me. However, he didn't let me know this when it started to bother him, he didn't notice how I would hurry to the computer in the evenings to spend time with him before going to sleep. Instead of giving me a chance to comfort him when he felt down he chose to wait till it hurt enough that it seemed right to hut me too by changing his plans without warning.
Needless to say, staying up that late, combined with unexpected emotional turmoil made Monday work kinda hard. I still made it to my 09:00 meeting, and I tried to be productive after the meeting. But I can't really claim to have accomplished much before I finally gave it up as a lost cause and pedaled home for a nap. I got 1.5 hours more sleep, which mafe it possible to then take mt tricycle back to work just on time for my meeting at 14:30, followed promptly by a practice presentation by the PhD student in the next office, whose defence was scheduled for Friday. That session ladted till pretty much 17:00.
This meant that I had just time to head home with Villiam and make some cookie dough before David picked me up for Nyckelharpa night and Villiam went home. (Without his help I never would have managed to get the dough made and the mess cleaned on time, given how many different nuts, seeds, and dried fruit we used.)
We didn't have room this time to bring the dulcimer, so it was just sewing for me, as I listened to beautiful music. Swedish folk music really is my favourite type of music.
That nighr I managed to get to bed before midnight and sleep till 07:00, which helped, but not enough. While I was in the office from 09:00 till nearly 17:00, I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked, as emotions were still unsettled and I was feeling resentment towards some of the things I had heard him say.
But Phire practice followed by Choir helped, and after Choir Villiam came over and we baked the travel cookies, which also helped. That night Thorvald was finally willing to do a video call.
He started out looking pretty miserable and unhappy, and wouldn't look at the camera, but gradually he opened up, and by the end of the conversation he could look me in the eyes again, and we both had a much better understanding of basic assumptions that had been made (on bith parts) didn't actually apply.
However, by then it was once again 03:00. That gave me just over 3.5 hours of sleep before I had to go to work on Wednesday.
I didn't have brain enough to accomplish much before my 10:00 meeting with that PhD student to go over his presentation for grammar etc. That turned into a fun two hours wherin I learned a fair bit about powerpoint animations and putting öinks into pdfs and he got some good help making the presentation better and easier for the audience to follow.
Then I tried to work for another couple of hours, then took a ten minute nap on a couch near the room where he would do another practice presentation, waling just on time for the presentation. After that I had planned on working till time for the parkour and aerial silks session at 17:00, but was too tired, so I went home and slept for 40 minutes, then managed to get up and drive in for practice. After practice Villiam came over and helped me bake naan to take with me, then I drove him home (he had caught the cold I and several other Phire folk had last week, and so hadn't the energy to bike), did my yoga, and was in bed by 23:00.
Thursday morning I drove in because David needed to drop the work car off for service, so I picked him up, je dropped me at uni, and used Styx for work.
Then I met my apprentice at the office; her first visit since she moved this summer. She has settled into working, and the job is week on, week off, so she plans to finish her thesis on the off weeks. I hope so, I think she should publish her results.
Despite having managed seven hours of sleep that night it was still necessary to go home and nap for 40 minutes, and even then I didn't have the energy to pack for the trip, so I started a load of laundry (sheets) and spent another 50 reading and listening to an audio book (in Swedish).
By that time David was home from work, so we cuddled up and talked on the couch till it was time for me to put on my Swedish folk dance costume, drop him at the apartment and head to a little dance performance we had been hired to do for a group of German tourists.
Then I finished laundey, caught up my logs, finished packing for the trip, did yoga, remade the bed and was in bed before midnight.
Today (Friday), I had to be at the lab by 08:00 to meet a technician, who managed to fix the ICP-MS autotune so that the instrument actually pases the performance report without further manual tuning! He also taught me a number of other useful things.
He finished up just on time for me to head to the actual thesis defence, which was a much better presentation than it had been on Monday. I didn't stay for the Q&A part of the session due to wanting to type notes from what I had learned in the lab before I forgot. That took till time to head to the train station to head south.
All of which means I didn't manage to send my advisor a draft grant proposal before leaving, so it will need to wait till I get back to a computer in 10 days,
The week was even busier than expected
...but not near as productive.
Sunday I went to bed around midnight, but since I hadn't heard from Thorvald all day, I turned internet on on the phone in hopes of seeing him on line. My phone download an email that had come in during yoga. It said only:
"You have your priorities, and I have my priorities. They are not meshing well for either of us right now.
I think you will be relieved to hear that I will not be visiting you this fall."
This was completely out of the blue. In every recent skype call he looked delighted to see me and was cheerful and affectionate,. In every fb message exchanged recently everything seemed happy and good between us, and I thought that we were both looking forward to his visit.
So I frist replied via email to say that I was not relieved, but I was both surprised at the news. But then I was way too adjitated to be able to sleep, so I also sent a fb chat. He agreed to talk there, but he wasn't willing to do a voice call, so we exchanged messages until almost 03:00 in the morning. Apparently he had been feeling like he doesn't mater to me because I have been getting busier with work, research, and normal hobbies resuming now that summer is over. The fact that I am also spending lots of time with Villiam also, for reasons which my polyamorus mindset will never truly understand made Thorvald feel like he (Thorvald) doesn't matter to me. However, he didn't let me know this when it started to bother him, he didn't notice how I would hurry to the computer in the evenings to spend time with him before going to sleep. Instead of giving me a chance to comfort him when he felt down he chose to wait till it hurt enough that it seemed right to hut me too by changing his plans without warning.
Needless to say, staying up that late, combined with unexpected emotional turmoil made Monday work kinda hard. I still made it to my 09:00 meeting, and I tried to be productive after the meeting. But I can't really claim to have accomplished much before I finally gave it up as a lost cause and pedaled home for a nap. I got 1.5 hours more sleep, which mafe it possible to then take mt tricycle back to work just on time for my meeting at 14:30, followed promptly by a practice presentation by the PhD student in the next office, whose defence was scheduled for Friday. That session ladted till pretty much 17:00.
This meant that I had just time to head home with Villiam and make some cookie dough before David picked me up for Nyckelharpa night and Villiam went home. (Without his help I never would have managed to get the dough made and the mess cleaned on time, given how many different nuts, seeds, and dried fruit we used.)
We didn't have room this time to bring the dulcimer, so it was just sewing for me, as I listened to beautiful music. Swedish folk music really is my favourite type of music.
That nighr I managed to get to bed before midnight and sleep till 07:00, which helped, but not enough. While I was in the office from 09:00 till nearly 17:00, I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked, as emotions were still unsettled and I was feeling resentment towards some of the things I had heard him say.
But Phire practice followed by Choir helped, and after Choir Villiam came over and we baked the travel cookies, which also helped. That night Thorvald was finally willing to do a video call.
He started out looking pretty miserable and unhappy, and wouldn't look at the camera, but gradually he opened up, and by the end of the conversation he could look me in the eyes again, and we both had a much better understanding of basic assumptions that had been made (on bith parts) didn't actually apply.
However, by then it was once again 03:00. That gave me just over 3.5 hours of sleep before I had to go to work on Wednesday.
I didn't have brain enough to accomplish much before my 10:00 meeting with that PhD student to go over his presentation for grammar etc. That turned into a fun two hours wherin I learned a fair bit about powerpoint animations and putting öinks into pdfs and he got some good help making the presentation better and easier for the audience to follow.
Then I tried to work for another couple of hours, then took a ten minute nap on a couch near the room where he would do another practice presentation, waling just on time for the presentation. After that I had planned on working till time for the parkour and aerial silks session at 17:00, but was too tired, so I went home and slept for 40 minutes, then managed to get up and drive in for practice. After practice Villiam came over and helped me bake naan to take with me, then I drove him home (he had caught the cold I and several other Phire folk had last week, and so hadn't the energy to bike), did my yoga, and was in bed by 23:00.
Thursday morning I drove in because David needed to drop the work car off for service, so I picked him up, je dropped me at uni, and used Styx for work.
Then I met my apprentice at the office; her first visit since she moved this summer. She has settled into working, and the job is week on, week off, so she plans to finish her thesis on the off weeks. I hope so, I think she should publish her results.
Despite having managed seven hours of sleep that night it was still necessary to go home and nap for 40 minutes, and even then I didn't have the energy to pack for the trip, so I started a load of laundry (sheets) and spent another 50 reading and listening to an audio book (in Swedish).
By that time David was home from work, so we cuddled up and talked on the couch till it was time for me to put on my Swedish folk dance costume, drop him at the apartment and head to a little dance performance we had been hired to do for a group of German tourists.
Then I finished laundey, caught up my logs, finished packing for the trip, did yoga, remade the bed and was in bed before midnight.
Today (Friday), I had to be at the lab by 08:00 to meet a technician, who managed to fix the ICP-MS autotune so that the instrument actually pases the performance report without further manual tuning! He also taught me a number of other useful things.
He finished up just on time for me to head to the actual thesis defence, which was a much better presentation than it had been on Monday. I didn't stay for the Q&A part of the session due to wanting to type notes from what I had learned in the lab before I forgot. That took till time to head to the train station to head south.
All of which means I didn't manage to send my advisor a draft grant proposal before leaving, so it will need to wait till I get back to a computer in 10 days,