Yeah but you could take this story and use it to verify the postulate that if you are honest, things go wrong anyway. I'm not saying being honest isn't the way to go, but I know that every single time I have been honest with someone in a situation like this it has not gone well.
Even when you are honest doesn't mean things will go well. People often don't want to hear the truth and put blame where it is convenient, rather than justified. It takes a very self assured person to know the "truth" from all sides and act based on was is, rather than what they think should be.
Even when you are in a polyamorous relationship or some other non-exclusive relationship and everyone is communicating things can still go very wrong and be very painful. It's often not that people are eschewing communication, but exactly the opposite; the communicate but they don't *agree* or don't want to believe that truth.
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Date: 2010-04-25 01:14 pm (UTC)Even when you are honest doesn't mean things will go well. People often don't want to hear the truth and put blame where it is convenient, rather than justified. It takes a very self assured person to know the "truth" from all sides and act based on was is, rather than what they think should be.
Even when you are in a polyamorous relationship or some other non-exclusive relationship and everyone is communicating things can still go very wrong and be very painful. It's often not that people are eschewing communication, but exactly the opposite; the communicate but they don't *agree* or don't want to believe that truth.