From the 30,000 foot view, there are times when the truth can hurt. For example, if a child walks up to an overweight adult and says "your fat". Social norms would say that a responsible parent would apologize to the adult and pull the child aside and explain why their *truthful* comment was not nice.
Ok is if you look at it one way, the bare bones fact is we live in a world of denial. The word I like to use is choice. Not to sound too lofty ‘cause lord knows I have made some bad choices that I would not want to repeat but... You choose to not eat candy all the time. You choose to go to school, get education and a degree rather than spend the same amount of time watching TV. You choose not to yell at someone when you are mad at them (you choose to be mad too). The list goes on and on. In each case a choice was made to deny instant gratification for the long term good.
Relationships are far more complicated but there is still ‘denial’ in open and closed relationships. In both styles honesty is the best policy. So in a way if you are in a poly’ relationship you make the choice to tell your primary partner that you are twitterpated with someone new and ask for approval. If we want to be devoid of denial why tell anyone? Just do it. Then when you are found out you lay out the facts. You saw. You wanted. You did. *Truthful* but not nice.
IMHO being a monogamist is not buying into the cheating culture anymore than polyamory. Monogamy also has an “emphasis on honesty and communication”. We both know someone that was polyamory that had a wide variety of old and new “friends” and at the same time he was only honest some of the time. Does that make polyamory, across the board, buying into a cheating culture?
Each type of relationship has a pro and con. I don’t think either promotes dishonesty or denial more than the other. What you do with the truth and choices are up to you in the type of relationship you are in.
no subject
Ok is if you look at it one way, the bare bones fact is we live in a world of denial. The word I like to use is choice. Not to sound too lofty ‘cause lord knows I have made some bad choices that I would not want to repeat but... You choose to not eat candy all the time. You choose to go to school, get education and a degree rather than spend the same amount of time watching TV. You choose not to yell at someone when you are mad at them (you choose to be mad too). The list goes on and on. In each case a choice was made to deny instant gratification for the long term good.
Relationships are far more complicated but there is still ‘denial’ in open and closed relationships. In both styles honesty is the best policy. So in a way if you are in a poly’ relationship you make the choice to tell your primary partner that you are twitterpated with someone new and ask for approval. If we want to be devoid of denial why tell anyone? Just do it. Then when you are found out you lay out the facts. You saw. You wanted. You did. *Truthful* but not nice.
IMHO being a monogamist is not buying into the cheating culture anymore than polyamory. Monogamy also has an “emphasis on honesty and communication”. We both know someone that was polyamory that had a wide variety of old and new “friends” and at the same time he was only honest some of the time. Does that make polyamory, across the board, buying into a cheating culture?
Each type of relationship has a pro and con. I don’t think either promotes dishonesty or denial more than the other. What you do with the truth and choices are up to you in the type of relationship you are in.