I guess it all depends on who one sees as the target audience. If you read this as an essay with a goal to convert others to my way of thinking (which, given that it was posted on line where others could see it, is a reasonable guess), then perhaps that is not the best word to use. However, if you read it as it was written, as a collection of my thoughts, for me, about which aspects I perceive as contributing to the choices I make for myself (which, given that is was posted in my personal journal, is also a reasonable conclusion), then the only question is do *I* perceive it as self-denial?
The answer to that is, yes, actually, I do. In the other comments hrj said ""Self-denial" is a bit of a loaded term. It strongly implies "denying a part of yourself" as opposed to "denying something to yourself". Someone who chooses to be monogamous even though attracted to more than one individual isn't denying that attraction any more than someone at an all-you-can-eat buffet who chooses to consume a sensible, nutritionally-balanced meal." For me, choosing to limit myself to a nutritionally-balanced meal in only the quantity that my body actually needs, when faced with an all-you-can-eat buffet *is* self-denial, depending on other factors.
It is *easy* for me to attend an evening party, see a table groaning with lots of yummy food, and eat none of it whatsoever, if it happens to be late enough at night that my body's interest in food has turned off. During the day, when my body craves food, it is still possible for me to eat sensibly at such a buffet if a reasonable portion of the choices are things I wouldn't wish to eat anyway (I'm a very fussy eater with an aversion to anything containing wine or vinegar, which includes a surprisingly large sub-set of food). However, put me in front of a table full of things I like, at a time of day when I'm hungry and I will either eat more than my body needs for fuel just then, or I will feel some emotional distress for denying myself the enjoyment of the yummy food. For me it is both about denying myself something I would like, *and* about denying an intrinsic part of my nature (I gain much pleasure in eating things I enjoy at a time of day when my body is interested in food).
In a way choosing not to eat things I like *is* being untrue to a portion of my nature. In my youth I didn't deny that portion of my nature--if yummy food crossed my path during the day, I ate it, without any regard to the question "does my body need this particular food to fuel my activities and build healthy replacement cells?". I also didn't get much exercise beyond walking from the couch (where I was reading and eating) to the fridge (to get more food) and back again. Had I stayed on that path I would have had much pleasure, but would not have a healthy body. Instead, when I got older, I chose to practice that aspect of self-denial, limiting that pleasure to only a frequency appropriate to keep myself healthy.
Likewise, while it hasn't happened in a few years that I've fallen in love with someone new, I have vivid memories of the one time I attempted to date a monogamist, and what it felt like to be in a situation wherein I did fall in love with someone new and then had to choose between hurting the monogamist or denying myself the opportunity to fully express the love I felt for the new friend. In that case, I asked myself "which would I regret more when I am 80--missing out on this opportunity to share a loving relationship with a wonderful individual, or hurting someone else I care about?" Even so, it was not an easy decision, and I resolved then and there that I never wanted to be put in such a position again.
oh, that took more words to say than I expected it to when I started typing...
The answer to that is, yes, actually, I do. In the other comments
It is *easy* for me to attend an evening party, see a table groaning with lots of yummy food, and eat none of it whatsoever, if it happens to be late enough at night that my body's interest in food has turned off. During the day, when my body craves food, it is still possible for me to eat sensibly at such a buffet if a reasonable portion of the choices are things I wouldn't wish to eat anyway (I'm a very fussy eater with an aversion to anything containing wine or vinegar, which includes a surprisingly large sub-set of food). However, put me in front of a table full of things I like, at a time of day when I'm hungry and I will either eat more than my body needs for fuel just then, or I will feel some emotional distress for denying myself the enjoyment of the yummy food. For me it is both about denying myself something I would like, *and* about denying an intrinsic part of my nature (I gain much pleasure in eating things I enjoy at a time of day when my body is interested in food).
In a way choosing not to eat things I like *is* being untrue to a portion of my nature. In my youth I didn't deny that portion of my nature--if yummy food crossed my path during the day, I ate it, without any regard to the question "does my body need this particular food to fuel my activities and build healthy replacement cells?". I also didn't get much exercise beyond walking from the couch (where I was reading and eating) to the fridge (to get more food) and back again. Had I stayed on that path I would have had much pleasure, but would not have a healthy body. Instead, when I got older, I chose to practice that aspect of self-denial, limiting that pleasure to only a frequency appropriate to keep myself healthy.
Likewise, while it hasn't happened in a few years that I've fallen in love with someone new, I have vivid memories of the one time I attempted to date a monogamist, and what it felt like to be in a situation wherein I did fall in love with someone new and then had to choose between hurting the monogamist or denying myself the opportunity to fully express the love I felt for the new friend. In that case, I asked myself "which would I regret more when I am 80--missing out on this opportunity to share a loving relationship with a wonderful individual, or hurting someone else I care about?" Even so, it was not an easy decision, and I resolved then and there that I never wanted to be put in such a position again.